When God’s Voice is Loud and Clear

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you knew that God was speaking to your heart and soul? It was so evident that you had to laugh and wonder why He speaks so clearly to you? I had one of those life-changing moments in January of 2020. While attending a large worship conference near Nashville, I encountered God in such a memorable way that I have no doubt it was the Shepherd’s Voice, and His message was clear.
The event was full of gifted Worship Leaders, Musicians, and Pastors. Let me tell you, you haven’t heard worship until you’re surrounded by 2500 people singing as if they are standing in the Throne Room of God! It was healing for my soul to just “be” in a place where worshiping through music was non-stop with no pressure on me to lead others. You see, I had spent the better part of the last 20 years leading others in worship, and I loved it. I believe it is my calling and what I was created to do. But like the accuser always does, he began to whisper in my ear that I was not worthy of being in that place. That singers were a dime a dozen, and there was really nothing special about me. It was hard for me to shake the insecurity and doubt. I was six months out of making the decision to step down from all ministry due to sin I had committed. I was removed from my beloved community and completely broken! But on this day, God had something else to say to me! In my spirit, I began to have a conversation with Him. It went something like this:
“You know how you are one of the few people at work that have a window in your office?” I was like, “yeah, so.” He reminded me of how in honor of those I work with who do not have a window; I open mine up to let in the light and air; again, I was like, “right, so….” He was so kind as He said, “Yes, here, in this room, you are a dime a dozen, but I did not place you in this room. I set you in your town, with your people, and not all of them can sing, or worship like you. They need you, and it is time.”
Insecurity and doubt left the room. I began to share the “God” conversation with my friend that was with me. I thought that was the end of it and was so grateful that God came to my defense when the enemy was lurking.
Kari Jobe and Cody Carnes then began their amazing worship set, and I stayed on my face for most of it. Until they started a song that prompted my friend to walk over and say, “God just told me to tell you it’s time”. With that, I stood and worshiped with my head high and arms raised. Then the bridge came in, and to me, it seemed like an odd transition in a song, but it was upbeat and catchy. So I went with it. It wasn’t until the set was over that my friend and I were chatting about the song. I even commented on how odd the bridge was, but how catchy it was. I was running it through my mind over and over. “Open up the window, let the light in, open up the window, let the light in, let the light in, let the light in”. Suddenly, it was like I could hear God say, “Hello, remember your office, and what we talked about?” Friends, I was undone! I knew at that moment that God was restoring me back to my place at the table. He was permitting me to step out and worship Him again. So it was no surprise when Cody Carnes said, “Wow, that the first time I’ve ever lead that song, you are the first to hear it.” I thought, “Of course I was because it was for me!” You could feel the energy and Presence in that room!
Since that time, God and I have written over 13 songs together, we launched Her Alabaster Heart, and I am beginning to find my new, improved identity and place at the feet of Jesus. Thank you, Abba, for still speaking to Your children and being especially obvious with this one.